Facebook emailed to say less email
Can’t believe it… I already have email notifications turned off. Only opened the email to post about it here. Now I’m wondering if there is an option to turn off email notifications from Facebook itself!
21 Suggestions for Living Wisely and Well
I found this priceless poster at my home girl Stephanie’s house in Branford, Conn. (I love exploring houses and reading what gets put on the walls, btw.) Turns out it’s the same author, H. Jackson Brown Jr. (wikipedia), who wrote my boyfriend’s favorite childhood book: The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book. As I look to returning to the full-time workforce (ie, be a “contributing” member of society as workaholics say), these are suggestions I want to remember to make a priority when faced with the vices of my aspirational ego and capitalistic society’s greed for money and power differentials. Wish me luck!
Priorities: 21 Suggestions for Living Wisely and Well
1. Teach by example.
2. Bless every day with a generous act.
3. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
4. Do something every day that maintains good health.
5. Take family vacations whether you can afford them or not.
6. Stand up for your principles even if you stand alone.
7. Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health and love.
8. Be there when people need you.
9. Be devoted to your spouse and dedicated to your children.
10. Be of service to your community and your country.
11. Have courage when things go wrong.
12. Tell the truth.
13. Maintain your resources wisely.
14. Be satisfied, don’t grumble.
15. Don’t overlook life’s small joys while searching for big ones.
16. Discover the power of prayer.
17. Discover the power of forgiveness.
18. Love people more than things.
19. Look for the good.
20. Search for the truth.
21. Hope for the best.
Design Artifact: The Yami Pen
Every now and then, I encounter everyday artifacts that draw my curiosity. It was fitting that during the last day of the UPA 2011 (website) conference, I noticed this blatant plastic spoon taped to a pen when I purchased my lunch at the Peachtree Food Court in downtown Atlanta.
My hunch was that this vendor (Yami Yami via Yelp) was tired of losing their pens after people signed for their credit card orders. So I asked the cashier and he explained that customers repeatedly walked off with the pen after signing their names — the spoon provided an obvious physical barrier (and visual cue) to people putting it away in their pockets or bags that the pen in fact was not theirs to keep.
This artifact, and the reasons behind its existence, also clues me into a couple more observations/hunches:
- Not only does the spoon prevent customers from stashing it out of sight, but it also prevents it from rolling off the counter or being misplaced by the staff themselves. (Typically, I’ve seen cashiers put pens on the keyboard/pad part of the cash register.)
- The instinct to put the pen away suggests that there is something about the context (the hurriedness factor of fast food, distraction from conversation or mobile devices) which divides attention that otherwise might not happen as frequently if this were at a sit-down restaurant.
- The staff may have previously laid out pens on the counter for customers to grab and sign as opposed to personally hand over a pen (a subtle but direct visual cue that “this pen is ours”) in order to save time. This could explain why the automatic reaction following the self-initiated procuring of the pen triggers a sense of ownership in the action and desire to retain it in possession. The spoon labeled “Yami Pen” thereby acts as the visual cue to prevent the self-attachment that otherwise happens when reaching for an unspoken-for pen.
Move Over Jell-O! Steamed Egg “Tofu” is Here!
EGG TOFU!!!! This is my ultimate favorite way to make eggs for breakfast — forget scrambled, sunny-side, or poached! There is also an element of surprise and anticipation because I never know just how soft and jiggly each one will turn out (mostly because I don’t bother to watch the time exactly each time).
Basically, just crack open an egg into a bowl, whisk it, add about 2 tablespoons of water (hot preferred if you have one of those electric water boilers), season with about a few pinches of salt, whisk some more (and optionally, add other ingredients like frozen lima beans) and pop it into an electric rice steamer pot (Tatung brand is best, according to my mom) for about 5-8 minutes. I check it occasionally while its cooking to see if it’s jiggly consistency is juuust right. Serve it hot! Yum!
P.S. You can pop it in the microwave to cook it, but it won’t come out as soft and jiggly 
The Lin Family “tri-coastal” video conference call
Over the holidays, my family had our first webcam/video conference call thanks to tinychat.com — super easy to use, namely because it doesn’t require account registration to start or join one! Here were the results with my parents (east coast), my brother (midwest), and me (west coast):
Mom demonstrating something with Dad's head
Mom with glasses on to inspect Steve's double chin more closely
Everyone leaning in and smiling for a screenshot
Posing for this last photo was funny because I kept telling my parents to “get closer” to the camera for the picture and instead of leaning in to fill in the viewing angle of the webcam, they pressed their faces closer towards each other. LOL.
Holding out on a Facebook-lift for “interfacial diversity”
Is Facebook’s “Get the New Profile” some kind of twisted social experiment? I’m waiting to find out. It appears that by offering a “new profile” option, Facebook is essentially trying to use social peer pressure to persuade everyone to convert to the new Facebook. After all, what is Facebook if not your profile — saying “Get the New Profile” is just another way of saying “Upgrade to the New Facebook”.
I liken getting the “new profile” to getting a face-lift — because once you agree to go under the knife, there’s no turning back. No “undo” button, no “change back to the old profile” setting (see the FAQ on this). You are stuck until you decide to go under the knife again.
Upgrade to the new Facebook -- all the cool kids are doing it!
But here’s the other thing: not everyone is going to be influenced to take the bait. For starters, not everyone on Facebook checks or surfs their friends’ profiles often enough to catch on. Nor does everyone care. Even though the new redesign will eventually roll out to everyone, I am going to hold out on the new profile because I’m curious to see how long Facebook keeps this “option” up. My guess is that it won’t be long because this two-caste system sure makes for an unfamiliar type of diversity on Facebook.
It’s probably just that Facebook has learned introducing unfamiliar changes to the interface without notice gets everyone confused and angry — and only want to give people more time to become familiar (and friendlier) to minimize backlash. After all, if you choose for yourself to make the switch, then you only have yourself to blame if you don’t like it — and who likes blaming themselves? (Studies have shown that people will believe a mutually exclusive option that they choose for themselves is eventually perceived to be better than the option they didn’t choose.)
So, for now, I’m going to enjoy the most “interfacial diversity” we’ll probably ever see on Facebook and brace myself for the return to the forced homogenization coming in the near future. And by the looks of how hard Facebook is trying, I wouldn’t be surprised if they try to piggy-back on the good spirits of new year celebrations to irreversibly introduce everyone to “The New Profile”.
A comparison: "Old Profile" vs. "New Profile"
(Notice how the ads column grew in width? And how the “You and This Friend” preview innocently draws your attention to that side of the page you usually ignore completely?)
Old school lomo camera giveaway for photography aficionados
Hey there, if you like photography or know someone who does, you can win this free giveaway for an old school camera (called lomography camera, so I’ve just learned) from Anna Wu, a good friend of mine who is a genius photographer! Ends on December 20: http://bit.ly/gQrjDQ
Last chance to vote for Stephanie Lai’s dream to play cello at Sydney Opera House!
Dear Interwebs,
When faced with perceived differences
I experienced something new today — and on a very personal level. Someone elder and who I’ve just been getting closer with revealed that s/he was upset at something I was wearing in their presence which made them feel as though I was being disrespectful towards them and antagonizing them by wearing words that asserted a specific identity group (which has been politicized for a number of reasons).
My first reaction was that of embarrassment – because I had no idea that my behavior was misleading this person into misreading my intentions. I felt like I was being accused of something I was not guilty of. Kind of like a deer caught in the headlights — for being caught in the headlights, if the irony helps. But instead of getting angry or upset, I found myself taking the route of curiosity — genuinely intrigued and interested in finding out where this person was coming from!
I think this approach helped the situation in a number of ways. First, I didn’t try to escalate the situation by throwing my own confusion on top of their confusion. Instead, I asked probing questions to get him/her to describe the concern, fear, and hurt behind the words they said to better understand how they were drawing conclusions from what they saw and what they interpreted as my actions or beliefs. Next, and before I allowed them to continue to misunderstand my intentions, I apologized for upsetting them and stated that it wasn’t my intention to get anyone upset — and in fact, if they would allow me to explain, might I share with them what my beliefs really are on the subject?
All in all, I am grateful for this experience because I believe we both learned something about the other person — and now better understand where one another’s boundaries are. It definitely made me more aware of how others may misinterpret my behavior and thus my intentions or beliefs. And because the topic of “differences” and diversity came up, it also got me thinking about the spectrum of “differences” and how we present ourselves to the people around us as being “same” or “different” to varying degrees. This just means that there are bound to be conflicts, big or small, around these perceived differences and the concepts we choose to identity with — and sometimes hang onto too long and create even more conflict.
After contemplating this awhile longer, I’ve come up with a general “rule of thumb” that I hope can help people gauge when it’s appropriate or not appropriate to “hold on” to these differences in ideas or beliefs. (I’m sure someone somewhere has come up with something similar, but this is just in my own words.)
A “manifesto” of sorts on embracing differences:
- Validate ideas/beliefs over validating your own ego.
- Validate people over validating ideas.
- Validate what people do over validating what people say.
What does this mean? (And please be my guest — poke holes at will!) It’s a pet peeve of mine when people say things just to stroke their own ego — and particularly when they do it by trying to invalidate what someone else just expressed. It’s simply rude, so don’t do it. Hear people out on their beliefs before you hear your own voice in (often illogical and dimwitted) contest.
Second, always be sure to validate the person (or group of people) over whatever idea or belief you hold. If asserting your belief is clearly upsetting the person in front of you, stop and respect/validate how the person is feeling. Like I mentioned earlier, listen to the deeper reasons behind why they have are having this level of sensitivity and reaction. At this point, if you still disagree with how this person thinks and acts, you have a number of choices depending on how important or feasible it is to you to have a healthy, long-term relationship with this person. But since this point is about putting people before ideas, I will have to advocate putting the person before your idea. Afterall, ideas are can only be expressed in words, and words are only worth their weight in action. Don’t waste action over words, particularly if it leads to harmful action towards others or yourself. (WARNING: Be cautious. This step is particularly difficult to accomplish, especially given how removed we are from the people around us in today’s “modern” society — and ever-so-especially over the Internet.)
And my third point is to say just that — don’t have a heart attack or go into depression over what someone says they believe in. Listen, but pay closer attention to what people actually do. In most cases, most of what most people do on earth isn’t all that objectionable or amoral. If you start reading too much into what people say they want to do or see happen, you will paralyze yourself with worry and fear. Though paralysis itself isn’t a bad thing (since a healthy dose of worry and fear is indeed what keeps most of us from doing the objectionable or amoral), be very aware that it’s also what keeps us from doing the positive things that contribute to humane and enlightened progress.
Last but not least, the chances are that we will all likely find ourselves in a conflict of differences sooner or later and time after time (after time…) But hey, it does take time and every conflict is different enough such that we must adjust and adapt these three steps — and probably come up with others — to hone our ability to get along and adapt to life as… humans. After all, as difficult as facing conflicts are, it means that we’re human and alive enough to experience these opportunities to grow and learn from each other! *rejoice here*
So for the holidays (and each day we remember to treat as holy), have hope and grow older with greater wisdom and bigger hearts! And may the world be a better place because of each one of us 
Vegetarian Salty Soy Milk Recipe – 素咸豆漿 [Home Cooking]
咸豆漿 (xián dòu jiāng) was one of my favorite dishes growing up in CT when my dad would make this for brunch, back in the heyday of our soy milk maker/machine. I didn’t have any shredded dried pork, so I experimented with cutting up pieces of dried nori instead. Still YUM! And animal friendly
Vegetarian Salty Soymilk Soup
The oh-so-easy and yummy steps:
- Bring a small pot of fresh soy milk (the raw, unprocessed kind sold in East Asian grocery stores with a shelf life of about a week) to a STEAM, just below boiling but not boiling. Stir occasionally to make sure the bottom doesn’t burn.
- Slowly stir in small amounts of rice vinegar just until it curdles as much or as little as you’d like. It takes a few seconds for the vinegar to mix in evenly, so take your time stirring between doses of vinegar.
- Add soy sauce, sesame oil, salt, and other seasonings to taste.
- In your bowl, add pieces of dried nori and some chopped cilantro. Try adding other stuff and experiment yourself! (You can see the photo I tried adding scallion too. Meh.)
This takes about 10-15 minutes for the soy milk to slowly heat without boiling/burning — and then the amount of time it takes to add everything else in. This is the original recipe I borrowed from — and the rest was my memory of how my dad would make it at the stove. Enjoy!
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